ivanrakus!

13.10.15

first post in...5 years... or more.

Hi. apa kabar? 


Its been ages - literally ages- since the last time I am here. I was that guy, that funny guy, in 11th grade of high school. When I look back on my older posts, I feel I have changed much in the past years. I was young, happy, outgoing, tried hard to be more than socially-acceptable person and always want to please everyone. 


When I look at what I am now, I feel I am more introvert, still really care to what other people said about me, but it does not held me back to be my true-self. I am still doing stupid and ridiculous stuff, but not as much as 6 years ago, because doing that now is not as fun as those times. I am lost contact with most of my high school mates, only one girl from the same highschool as me who I still contacted with, and she's living near me.

Oh. About myself; I should have tell this more earlier. So yeah, I am not live in Jakarta anymore. I live in Brisbane now, been more than three years now, time flies. I came here for doing university. pursuing my dreams of living aboard and go to uni that has prestige that I can be proud of. I was doing uni back in Jakarta from 2010 to 2012; at Universitas Indonesia. That is one thing that I can be proud of too, as it is the best university in Indonesia, but I am, well.. not too proud with that as that was not in my plan at all. I wanted to go to ITB at that time, but I did not get in after a series of university exams in 2010. But the beauty is, god always have better plan than our plan. do not be so devastated when something appear to be not in the way you wanted, it is a sign of a better future is coming to you if you keep yourself up. So here I am, get into UI and now finishing my study at UQ; at the time I came here this uni was ranked 12th for their chemical engineering. Oh. I am studying chemical engineering by the way, it wasn't major that I really want to study, but I think this is the best major for me. I wanted to do petroleum engineering or architecture in the beginning, but now, I am in my 5th year doing chemical engineering, I think being petroleum engineer isn't that good, as they need to be located offshore or on the site where its far from everywhere. I want to have a family and life, not just making a hella fortune. On the other hand, being an architect is fun, challenging, an engineering yet artsy major, but they does not make a good money. So.. as chemical engineer is fun and they make a good money, then I choose to do this major.

I am finishing in less than a month. After that? Life is waiting for me. Real life.. when parents does not give me any material support anymore. Where I should survive in my on, in  a country that I am not grew up in. Australia has been really nice to me, but I have never really working here yet. Now, I should look for a job that I want as a process or chemical or simply an engineer that can help to build a better future. I am looking to be an environmental engineer, but I do not know yet am I qualified to be one of them. but I want to!!

Probably I will move to Melbourne next year after I graduated. Just making some planning here. Melbourne is one of the best city in the world in my opinion. Since the first time I came there in 2012 during my west coast road trip. Melbourne has a special place in my heart. it touched that special void that makes me loves the city so much.

It is 1.26 AM in the morning. I should be sleeping by now as I have meeting and do my final work for design project. Wish me luck guys- whoever read my blog after 6 years hiatus, I think. Good to be back in this blog.. Actually I just had a not-so-good moment in my life. I was "forced" to be separated to a special person in my life. but that's life. when I got the chemistry with that person, but timing is bi*ch. Maybe now is not a great time for us to be together. But hopefully, another time we can build something meaningful for our life. mot temporarily, but permanently. Infinite.

I will tell more about that when I want to :P hopefully in the next post. Ciao for now!


3.2.11

"Brain: I warned you, didn't I ? Heart: Sorry Boss, just doing my job :'("
"I know when to stop. I know when to let things go. I know when to move on. But “I know” is different from “I can.”"

dot . dot . dot .

its the new beginning. ini awal dari semuanya. semua. bener-bener semua. gue harus melakukan banyak hal di awal ini. dan maaf. gue gabisa nyenengin semua orang. iya, gabisa. salah sih gue, emang awalnya hanya tertuju pada satu hal. yang sangat gue suka, dan gue sayang. I did not give my hapiness to another. sharing is important, but i did'nt do that. i was wrong.

iya. gue galau. perasaan yang campur aduk. tapi kebanyakan yang buruk. disaat harus seneng, gue jatuh terpuruk. ada banyak kewajiban, ga cuma ke diri sendiri, ke orang tua, keluarga, temen-temen, sekolah gue, organisasi, dan pacar. dari semua itu, gue cuman terfokus ke satu hal. pacar. iya gue salah. gue ga mikirin perasaan yang lain. kenapa gue nulis di blog ini lagi? blog yang udah lama ga gue buka? udah lebih dari setahun. sebenernya gue kangen sama masa lalu gue. masa-masa yang menyenangkan. tapi gue terlalu takut sama diri gue sendiri. takut buat membuka masa lalu.

diawali dengan galau cinta. gue galau semuanya. but mostly, im being galau because of love.

"Life isn't about worrying, that's a waste of time. Life isn't being perfect, that will never happen. Life is about finding yourself and finding people who accept that person"
 

17.9.09

Gara-gara windows live writer

        hola bonjourne! I'm already stressful before writing. why? because of sucks windows live writer. I was going to write using windows live writer but...  shit! i've tried it for thousand times but it still "an error occured" what the hell.



one hour later......      
still with those problem -.-




an hour past one and a half seconds later.....
kok malah not responding?


kenapa gak bisa woy!




ada yang tau caranya gak? udah nyerah nih ckck, akhirnya nulis seperti biasa..